I feel The Lord wants me to share my testimony so, I pray it touches someone. Those of you who know me know that I have a daughter, Kaitlin who has been the joy of my life for the last 28 yrs.
A lot of you may not know however is that I had another daughter Whitley. I lost her in a house fire when she was just a baby. She was only 6 weeks old.
Well, as you can imagine my whole world was completely destroyed on that night. Now at the time I wasn’t saved and all I could think & believe for a very long time was God was punishing me for something, some horrible sin I had committed.
Even though I did not know what that was. For years I did what I had to do to get by, I buried all of that hurt, anger, depression way down deep inside of me where only Me & God knew about it.
I put all of my focus on my daughter Kaitlin and went on with life as best as I could. I had to for her sake.
I never talked about What happened and when someone would mention it I would change the subject or just tell them I couldn’t talk about that! I did this for years!!!
I couldn’t go to the cemetery, I couldn’t be around babies or pregnant women for quite a while.
In 1997 I got saved and gave my heart to Jesus. I was finally on the right track and I couldn’t wait to get to heaven to see Whitley again along with my mom and brother. In the year 2015 it was as if God started bringing all of that hurt and pain back up to me and I was grieving all over again. Why God? Why?
Haven’t I already been through enough?? Why after all of these years are you having me relive that nightmare?? I couldnt understand it.
He began showing me that during that time I did not know him and he wanted to bring all of the pain, the grief, the heartache out of me so that he can completely heal me.
I spent many nights weeping & talking to the Lord and just began to trust him. So, A few months later on a Sunday morning I got up and shared my testimony with my church (Which I fought God on as well) this was very personal to me and I did not want to get up and talk about my baby in front of a large crowd but, as many of you know God always wins.
As difficult as that was I felt so much better afterwards and that same Sunday night my pastor prayed for me and he told me God wanted to completely heal me! I can honestly say that night The Lord did a mighty work for me.
He wrapped his sweet, loving, arms around me and held me while I poured my heart out. Now, of course I still hurt from loosing her and the things I never got to do or even share in this life with her but, I have had such peace & comfort in my heart knowing she is with Jesus and I will see her again one day.
If you took away every wonderful reason to live for The Lord, I have to make it to heaven to be with her again.
So friends, when I say if you can only see where Jesus has brought me from to where I am today then you would know the reason why I LOVE HIM SO, I mean it whole heartedly!!!!
If he can do this for me trust me he can & will do the same for you!
– Pastor Donna Robbins
That’s so powerful. I know what it’s like to dread discussions and questions about our heartbreaks. God is always there though and ready to love on us during those sad moments. I love you sister I have no clue what losing a baby that suddenly would be like and it would be so shocking. God has definitely taken that heartbreak and made a very strong woman of God out of you Sister!
Yes Amen Sister!! God can bring you through and he is the true healer. When we turn to him he can heal in a way nothing and nobody else can. Thank you for your kind words.
I so needed to hear this. Thank you….i am dealing with the death of my mom/ my best friend. It is very hard and I’m going thru so many different emotions
God bless you! I know how difficult losing and missing your mom can be. It has been 29 years since I’ve lost my mom and I still miss her tremendously.
Lean on the Lord. If you don’t know him please let me urge you to call on him today. He is the lifter of our heads. He will turn mourning to dancing, He will give you beauty for ashes and He is the only one who can. Thank you for reaching out. You will be in my prayers.
God Bless,
Pastor Donna Robbins