The Testimony Of Candace Richmond – Roller Coaster To Freedom

This Is the testimony of Candace Richmond from Richmond KY. A story of a roller coaster that eventually led to freedom!

My mom was 17 by the time she had me so her mom, my grandma knew right away she would have to help take care of me. My dad was never really in the picture and I didn’t meet him until I was already 18 and graduated high school.

By the time I was 2 or 3 my grandma had met her husband she’s still with till this day, and we all three moved to Richmond from Lexington Ky. My grandparents took really good care of me and made sure I had everything I needed or wanted.

I was very spoiled which didn’t help me much later in life if I’m being honest. I was my grandma’s first grandchild. I was very loved, it just didn’t feel like it because the love I was wanting was from my mom which she failed to be able to give me.

As I got a little older it became clear my mom had an alcohol and drug problem. She would make promises she couldn’t keep, she would tell me she was coming to see me and never show up.

As a little girl that hurts so deeply especially since it’s your parents hurting you, when I think of a mom I think of her being my superhero, my protector, my friend, or just my everything. I never got that lucky!

My mom ended up having two other kid’s my younger brother’s and by the time my baby brother came, she was a full blown addict. Eventually my grandparent’s made the decision to take them which in my mind was the worst day of my life.

I’m about 7 or 8 at this time so you could imagine the rage, hurt, anger, and pain I’m filled with due to my mom and the fact she went and had two other kids before she ever tried to get me back.

So of course that pain I would project onto my brothers and it wasn’t even their fault I just couldn’t comprehend that at a young age. I doubt I even wanted to!

Living with our grandparents was great if you’re on the outside looking in. They did everything they could for us plus more and were so supportive in anything we wanted to do. For me on the inside I was a mess and I carried this burden until my late 20’s.

I graduated high school and started college that fall unfortunately I dropped out within two weeks. First time my grandparents were ever disappointed in me which brought even more pain than they could see.

I started drinking and taking nerve pills and smoking weed everyday, because I was so depressed and even for a moment it took away all that pain. This lasted for about a year until I got pregnant at the age of 20 with my first son.

My child’s father got locked up when I was 3 months pregnant and after he was born he was sentenced to 25 years in prison. You could only imagine what I was feeling then, 21 with a baby living back with my grandparents and nothing to offer. 

I eventually got into cocaine for about 2 years pretty bad all I cared about was getting high. I didn’t want to deal with life and what I was going through. My parents had a really big role in raising my son for the next few years.

At the age of 22 I was introduced to heroin and my life really took a turn for the worst. I quit everything else because that’s all I wanted, all I cared about.

Heroin turned me into a monster, a person I didn’t even know. I started to get in trouble with the law or the state which helped stop using but I kept drinking. I only believed drugs were my issue, not alcohol.

In between this time I met this guy he became my best friend, then one day he went to jail and ended up doing a few years in prison.

I started using again and life really took a turn for the worst, heroin just had some type of hold on me. I thought until I was introduced to meth. Meth is a different type of hell being lived on earth full of pure torment.

I was raised in church so I believe in heaven and hell, but I believe even more after the torture I went through while using. February of 2017 I entered my first rehab on my terms and I came across this faith based rehab which I loved cause God was going to be the only way I could get out of this hole I dug myself into.

I sat there almost 3 months and left 2 weeks before I would’ve graduated, and for what? Only to relapse my second day being home which gradually progressed. Two weeks after being home I ran back into that guy I told you about that went to prison he was already out.

By July that year I found out I was pregnant with my second son and things pretty much fell apart between me and him. The fall after my birthday my childhood best friend died, she was more like a sister to me.

We weren’t as close as we had been growing up but that didn’t matter; she’d always be family to us. In 2018 I finally got my own apartment before the baby was born thing’s between me and my oldest son until my youngest son was born.

I couldn’t handle the pressure of trying to tend to a 7 year old and a newborn. That summer my oldest went to stay with my parents most of the time and before you knew it was back on meth. Mom had been back in jail again and we hadn’t spoken in almost a year.

Until one day she calls me and says the judge picked me out of everybody to come get her out of jail. Neither one of us could understand why, but God did it was all a part of his plan.

I went that night and signed her out and we slowly started speaking more that week. Then the second week of her being out it was Thursday August, 9 2018; we were texting that day and something (God) told me to call her and tell her she had to come see me.

It took her a few hours but she finally made it. Our visit was like how I’d always want our relationship to be. We laughed, smiled, and had a really good time.

She left about 1:40 ish that night and as hours went by I knew it was weird I hadn’t heard from her. Then later that evening August 10, 2018 I got the phone call that she had passed away. It felt like my soul had literally been ripped out of my chest.

Exactly a month later September 10, 2018 I got my boys taken away by the state because I failed a drug test. Thank God they were able to go to my grandparents, but once again more of my soul had been ripped out of my chest along with my heart.

That November of 2018 I went back to rehab for the second time, this time I actually graduated! I came home and started working my case plan and got a sponsor working the steps.

I was doing really well. I even got custody back of my kids, but before you knew it I was drinking again. This lasted for months until one day my addiction told me I could get high now. It’ll be okay if you don’t have to take a drug test anymore.

Before you knew it I was off and running again! This lasted about a year and a half and just got worse as time went on.

I remember it was the beginning of November 2020 and I had started to tell myself I think I need to go to rehab again. I remember the only people I told that to were my brother and my step dad because if I told anyone else in the family they would pressure me on when I was actually going.

I think it was maybe Wednesday or Thursday and I remember going to my step dad’s house and the last thing I said before I left is I’ve gotta go to rehab. I get home and go on about my day and God is saying make that call.

I kind of overlooked it in the fear of this is really happening again, but instead I messaged a girl I knew that worked at the treatment place I was interested in.

She gave me their number and I looked them up on Facebook checking everything out. Then later that evening God told me “MAKE THAT CALL!” So I did!

It was hard yet so relieving and that Saturday November 14th of 2020 I entered my third inpatient treatment facility. 

I’ll never forget on the drive up there my grandma told me, “I really think this is it, you’re gonna get it this time”. It was so weird because I was thinking the same thing, I just didn’t want to say it out loud.

I went to the Lisa Walker Center through the Isaiah House. That place literally changed my life for the better. God used that place and those people there to help me get to where I’m at today.

That is when I finally truly surrendered everything over to God and let him have his way in my life.

I’ve been baptized before but I chose to do it again while at rehab, because when you go under the water the old man dies and the new man comes to life. I don’t think anybody knows how much I wanted the old me to die.

Now here I am almost a year later and everything I said I was going to do when I came home from treatment I’ve done it and still doing it. November 15th, 2021 I will be one year sober and none of this would be possible if it wasn’t for God’s grace and mercy. I’m alive today because God saw something in me I couldn’t see in myself.

Statistically I should not be here, I should not be here typing this story out but I am because God! My cousin Derek, who passed away a couple years ago due to a car accident, told me a long time ago, “I need you to overcome this so you can tell your own story, not have us tell it for you”.

Recovery is possible! It’s not always easy at times but anything worth having won’t be easy.

“The Lord is close the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed” Psalm 34:18